He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
