How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize