Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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