You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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