i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
