you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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