Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
