She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
