I wannas sexs uuuuu
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
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