When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
