Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
