If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
