dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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