ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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