You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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