She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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