like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize