What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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