there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
