Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Randomize