I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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