Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
