I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I smell stomach acid.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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