Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
