WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
