I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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