idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
