remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
