Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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