I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Someone signed my nipple.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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