Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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