I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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