Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
