What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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