this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
