I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
