She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize