You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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