But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
