They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We have started to decorate penises.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
