i was rollin on her like bob the builder
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
