so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
