i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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