ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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