Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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