I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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