Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
