It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize