He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
