Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
