...so i touched it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We are two peas in an std pod
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize