chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
