I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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