Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
