I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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