Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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