dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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