In the future we'll all be gay
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
