i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
